Great Stuff by Duke

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 05:32:26 +0000

Dukes Deals If it's after 12 Midnight...try to be quiet...we might be sleeping...
"Never play cards with a man called Doc."

Dukes Deals always opens with a few clean jokes

An American lawyer asked Paddy...how come wheneveryou ask an Irishman
a question...he answers with another question... Who told you that? asked Paddy...
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Murpy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drinkQuinn thinks he's very lucky...
his wife makes him walk I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are
independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to
stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep.
in other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
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An Irish priest looks out his window and sees a dead donkey
in his yard. He calls the cops and gets Sergeant Murphy. He tells his story and
Murphy being a wise guy says Father..I thought it was a Priests duty to
administer Last Rites..the phone went silent for a few seconds...then the good
Father answers with: You are right Sergeant..but it is also our duty to notify
the next of kin...
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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he
had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.Looking up to
heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go
to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.Paddy looked up again and said,
"Never mind, I found one."
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Paddy stops in this bar in County Mayo..walks
to the bar and orders a Pint of Guinness...The man says..I am sorry but
the rules in this Town are we have to close one hour a day and we are
not allowed to serve drinks...And we are closed now ...We closed at
2 O'Clock and it is now 2.30...you have a half hour..Paddy says..well then
I will sit right here and wait..The barman says that will be just fine..
Would you like a drink while you are waiting?
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I still miss my wife, But my aim is improving

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall...he was pushed.

A short cut is the longestdistance between two points.
Some people cause happinesswherever they go; others,whenever they go.

A few household tipsPinch of baking soda to the chili while it's still cooking,
stops heartburn...

Simply by putting out a few bowls of ordinary vinegar.
in your yard when having a party...Will keep mosquitoes away...

Bubble Gum Removal!
"To remove bubble gum or any type of gum from hair (child's head,
on arm, leg, etc.), simply spread peanut butter on the area and wash!
It comes out like magic because of the oil!!"

"If you have cast iron pans, or a wood stove that has collected "gunk"
from being used over and over, remove the crusting with a paste
made of cream of tartar and vinegar, it will make cleaning a breeze!!

"Clean A VaseTo remove those tough stains from the bottom of a glass
vase, just fill with water and add two Alka-Seltzer tablets!

Cleaner Microwave Dissolve two Tbs. baking soda in one cup water in
a small microwave-safe bowl. Let the solution boil in the microwave
for a few minutes so that the steam condenses on the walls.

Then wipe clean with a damp sponge Always put something like a
toothpick or a straw in the water that you're boiling in the microwave.
Otherwise, it could explode when you take it out and give you a bad
burn, because it actually reaches a point beyond boiling.

" FIREPLACE ALERT!Do not burn colored newspaper or magazines in
your fireplace! They contain lead and when burned
will emit dangerous levels of the lead. This can be extremely harmful
especially to children!

Hide Nail Holes From the landlady! Rub toothpaste into the hole and
smooth with a damp sponge. Or, try scraping an aspirin and put the
shavings in the nail hole.

Plastic Trash Bags
To keep plastic grocery bag clutter under control, stuff
your bags into an empty kleenex box (the large size box).
It's pretty and it also gives you easy access when you
need a bag in a hurry.

Sink Stains For dark stains, like rust, rub your sink with a paste made
of Borax and lemon juice.
Lighter stains can be removed simply by rubbing with a piece of cut lemon.

Sliding Glass Door Tracks "Clean the door tracks with furniture polish
instead of a cleaner. It gets the tracks clean and the polish acts as
a lubricant.
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Health tips
I am not a doctor..so take this advice on the merits that I take them from reliable sources..If in any doubt..ask your doctor for his advice...

Vitamin C and MSM

Vitamin C when taken with MSM helps build strong and thick veins and arteries. Here are some ailments that may respond to Vitamin C and MSM...Diverticulitis..Migraines..Type 2 Diabetes..Alleries to food and pollen..Gum desease and much more...

Herbs for health

Basil, cumin and turmeric help prevent cancer of the bladder and prostate.

Black pepper, jalapenos, mustard and hot red peppers all boost your metabolism for several hours. That helps burn fat.

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Look through Duke's Stuff

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                   You are on the Escalator now...Step off when it stops
              Then browse around for a few minutes...maybe you will see
                          something you like...
                                                  Duke
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At these prices...start learning words and chords to many songs...
Singers and musicians...Stay ahead of your musical knowledge
at the right price...Top of page check S&H prices..The price is right...
This is the place..Click link below
Duke

Alternative medicine people are convinced that too much homocystyeine in the blood and not chelesterol is what causes stroke and heart attacks...Go to the site and check the item below...No sweet talk that the price wont be this low for long...I'm telling you to get it now to make sure you keep your Homocysteine level low....Who wants to get a heart attack or a stroke?   I sure don't ... Duke

B6, B12, and folic acid are necessary for the metabolism of homocysteine. Increased intake of B6 and folate may contribute to a decline in diseases and deaths in the US by indirectly assisting in the reduction of accumulated homocysteine in the blood. Why Methylcobalamin B-12? Methylcobalamin is the Bio-Available B-12.
Methylcobalamin B-12 is active immediately upon absorption, while cyanocobalamin must be converted to methylcobalamin by the body before it can be used. Methylcobalamin B-12 is the neurologically active form of B-12. It is essential for maintaining the integrity of the nervous system. A deficiency principally affects the peripheral nerves and, in later stages, the spinal cord. One a day should do it...DIRECTIONS: As a dietary supplement, take 1 or 2 tablets daily, Allow tablets to dissolve under tongue. You got the works in one tablet...jump on it.....Duke
Click on the link below....

Clicking on the link below opens the
door upstairs too many choices of
Credit Cards...Don't wait for the
Elevator...Beat them all upstairs
by clicking on the link below.....
Duke

Click now and stroll

tummy tuck